UberTilt

So I pulled a classic me two nights ago. For the uninitiated, a "me" is when you make one bad decision that rapidly avalanches into a series of horrible ones. The bad decision was playing angry. I've done a fantastic job of avoiding playing angry for quite some time now. It has taken a lot of patience, but I've been able to step back and tell myself that I shouldn't play poker at the moment. The reason is that when I say angry, what I'm referring to is something bigger. I can play when I'm in a bad mood without any problem, but there are certain times when I feel the world is out to get me, and those are the sessions that end up costing me. This is where I was at last night and in no time flat I was in a bad place. I started playing a $2 HU match at FTP and a $.10/$.25 NLHE ring game at Bugsy's. Everything started okay, but nearly simultaneously I took two not-all-that-bad beats and lost all control. On the ring table, I had 99. The hand right before my 99, I had been dealt 77. A loose jackass in front of my had raised as he did every single hand and I repopped it the pot. He called and we took a terrible QJ4 flop. He led out and I pitched it. Then I was dealt the 99. Again, he raised and I repopped it and the two of us took the K72 flop. He led out and I decided that he couldn't possibly outflop me every hand. This is where my tilt problem happens. Normally I realize that somebody CAN in fact outflop me every hand during a session. When I feel the world is out to get me, I feel that I'm owed. So even if it is very obvious that I'm beat, I have no fear shoving in because some higher power owes me my two outer and it's going to hit this time. Predictably, it never hits, and I shoved over his bet and he insta-called and showed down the K3hh to scoop. That put me down $20 and was a fantastic place to stop, except I didn't. I sped through two more buy-ins to be stuck $60 with another $20 on the table. The fortunate part is that I was so card dead that my non-functional brain even knew better than to get involved in any hands. Even in Maximum Tilt mode, I still know that 52o isn't going to do anything for me. I did eventually win back $40 of the $60 that I was down, but I deserved to be stuck more and I realize it.

FTP was more of a horror show. The "bad beat" that I took there wasn't all that bad. I did drop a three outer early when I had the guy on the felt to put him back in it, but that one didn't seem to bother me. What bothered me was later when he opened up into full Tard mode and started pushing every other hand. I sat back and waited and finally got all in with AQ vs his K6o. The glorious K66 flop sent me through the roof. I kept playing match after match just trying to shove the other person off of every hand. And every time I got called down by anything less than the stone nuts I couldn't figure out how the other person was playing so badly and beating me. Well, it's because I'm a genius. If I would've been playing me I would've taken my entire roll. Fortunately I only lost something sick like -10 matches rather than my whole kitty. In terms of the experiment, it set me back like three months. My first instinct today was to sit down and log a monster session to try and get it back. The numbers don't lie; setting aside the tilt session, I was rolling at around a 59% win rate. With that win rate, it means that I'm profiting something around $.25 every match that I play. Over time, that's going to pay off for me. However, my rational thought kicked back in today and told me to avoid all poker until everything could really settle in and I could tell just how big of a jackass I had been. It took until 11:00pm, but I think I'm ready for a couple of rounds now.

As with every one of these sessions that I have, all I can do is pick up the pieces and learn. I know that I'll do it again, but my frequency and severity seem to decrease every time. Three years ago I would've been typing with some solid goose eggs in my two accounts because I would've sat at a $3/$6 NLHE table to try to get even. Those days are gone. I can't wait until the tilt sessions are too.

Bugsy's: $536.09
FTP: $32.55